Thursday, December 18, 2008

DANCE OF THE DODOS

I just wanted to tell you about this crapozoid Singapore produced movie entitled Dance of the Dragon about a guy in Korea (Jang Hyuk as Tae Kwon) who, as a young boy fell in love with ballroom dancing. Such was his interest that he taught himself by studying from dance instruction books. His interest in dancing caused much heartache to his cobbler father who wanted him to earn a proper living, like working in a factory.
For ten years he suffered but he never forgot his dream of becoming a professional dancer. Somehow he secured an audition with a dance troupe in Singapore! Leaving his angry father and mother behind, he somehow found the money to travel to Singapore for the audition. He arrived on the day of the auditions and with his bare feet (he didn't have funds for shoes though he found funds for the trip to Singapore) he showed the committee what little talent he had.



His audition was not good enough according to some members of the panel, but the school's head, Emi Lee, played by Singaporean actress Fann Wong, saw something in him (damn it she must have a great eye for talent) and took him in as a student.
That night, Tae Kwon slept by the roadside and later got a job at a car wash to support himself (Singapore's foreign worker laws must be lenient nowadays). His new job caused him to be late on his first day at dance school but of course Fann Wong forgave him (eventhough Tae Kwon looked as if he hasn't showered in a week and stunk to high heaven).
Tae Kwon must also be washing a lot of cars because somehow he managed to rent a run down apartment that costs S$800 a month. Within a few days he also managed to furnish it tastefully plus get a video player to boot. Meanwhile, personally he stilled looked like he needs a shower and a haircut or even a comb.
Surprise surprise, he falls in love with his dance teacher Emi, who also happens to be a former champion Ballrom dancer who stopped competing after having injured her ankle. Yet she yearns for more competition. The competition is just around the corner and she needs a partner. Bet you a thousand bucks you can't guess who she chooses.
Meanwhile, Faye Wong's boyfriend Cheng is played by Sino-American star Jason Scott Lee ( I hope he was paid well enough to act in this dumb movie) who plays a martial arts instructor and who is insanely jealous. He can't stand to see his girlfriend dance with this young Korean dancer and challenges him to a fight.
Tae Kwon wondered how he could beat this jerk and whilst trying to learn how to punch a mattress on the roof, he saw an old guy practicing Tai Chi. He is inspired enough to go to the library and found a video about Shaolin pattern technique. He went to Cheng and challenged him to this kind of tournament where no bodily contact is allowed (clever guy). Cheng accepted the challenge. The Korean dancer had now only 7 days to learn Shaolin pattern boxing and compete against a past champion. Not so smart guy. If he loses he returns to Korea.
Meanwhile, Cheng is embroiled in some shady dealing and accepted 20k to hurt a guy. He didn't and for not doing that job he himself got a beating by thugs (so much for being a martial arts instructor).
Tae Kwon's father who hated his son's dance ambition suddenly felt that he needed to help his son. Being a cobbler, fashioned a new pair of dancing shoes for his son, which he sent to Singapore, eventhough in the movie there's no scene in which we see Tae Kwon telling his parents where he stayed or worked or danced.
The day of the challenge comes up and Tae Kwon and Cheng turned the heat up for the 30 odd spectators in Cheng's martial arts school. Of course Tae Kwon lost, and he immediately packs his bag and returned to Korea (not sure how he found money for the trip back home).
At that point I just gave up watching. I just can't take more of this guy John Radel's direction and Max Mannix's shitozoid dialogue and storyline. Beh tahan.
If this is what the Singapore film industry is churning out these days, I smile in relief for Malaysian movies.
Furthermore, I saw another Singapore movie entitled Kallang Roar starring Lim Kay Siu as legendary Singapore football coach Choo Seng Quee who led the island republic to Malaysia Cup glory against Penang in 1977.


It is a movie with good intentions but failing miserably in its execution (they even misspelled Tunku Abdul Rahman's name Tungku). Sad thing was the re-enactment of the famous semi-final with Selangor and the finals with Penang. It would have been better if they had taken the actual archival footage because the football shown in this movie is laughable to say the least.
So I guess Singapore movies hitting a bad patch now. Hehehehehe.

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